On Rejection

How do you normally react to rejection?

I have observed that…

Some people would suddenly muster the strength to prove themselves when rejected.
Some people would just give-up.
Some people would be depressed, and would be so confused.
Some people would lose their identity; would have low self-esteem.

It could be about the work of your hands; it could be about a person
It could be a dream…
Name it…

Some people can be torn by rejection.
Or some people can become stronger because of rejection.
Some people may realize what they have because of rejection.
I have been thinking a lot about this in the past few days.

I am afraid of rejection, just like probably many people in the world.
The ridiculous thing about this fear of rejection is when you can’t avoid but to be rejected over and over again. Sometimes you would ask: “Why do I have to keep hearing/experiencing this rejection?”

And, it does hurt. Just like that first time you were rejected.

These thoughts led me to remember the love story of Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29.

Oh yes you do remember that love story, especially how you would swoon at Jacob’s love for Rachel, that 7 years was nothing for him because he longed for that beautiful girl, with a lovely face.

We seldom talk about Leah. We sometimes say, “oh yeah, and there’s that girl… Leah.”
She’s a side note. The girl with the weak eyes.

I guess I have a tendency to be drawn to the people rejected, that every time I read this love story, I focus on Leah. I feel her pain. I feel her longings. I feel her hopes. I feel her anticipation. I feel her cries, and maybe groans to God that oh please she would be finally loved. But even her prayers, can’t change Jacob’s feelings towards her.

She happened to be the eldest, and her culture demands that she marry first. She happened to be single when Jacob fell in love with Rachel, the prettier daughter. She happened to be there left behind. With a father that was most likely concerned at her, can you imagine what horror she must have felt to be dragged to the marriage tent, because there’s no choice for her? I may be wrong, but that’s how I see it if I would be in her situation.

What could she be thinking?

She probably said: “Oh… maybe in the morning, Jacob would reconsider, and also like me…” She probably had the maybes, the high hopes. What could be reeling in her head that night? Fear… and only to be rejected! Because she cannot escape her situation anymore that Jacob still chooses Rachel, she hoped that she would have a child so that Jacob would love her, and how we can see child after child her longing was there: that she would be loved!

Of course we always talk about Jacob and how adorable he is for working 7 more years for Rachel, or how Rachel also has her own share of misery and how God has answered her prayers… but today please let me focus more on Leah and what God has done for her.

I really like what happens in Genesis 29:35.

Leah bore children and at each moment it showed her focus  and deepest desire of wanting to be loved; then she had Judah and at that very moment her response changed: She praised the Lord. It was such a priceless moment.

It is never easy to stop and praise the Lord in circumstances when we feel like our dreams are slipping through our fingers.  It is never easy to be rejected by people, to be unloved, or to be unwanted. It is not easy to praise the Lord in situations when we feel like we are not enough. We tend to focus on ourselves, our insecurities, and more and more on the object of our affection, our longings, and our dreams.

If I were Leah, I would have said, “why did I have to be the eldest?” “Why did I have to be here in this place and point in time?” But if we would probably look further and see how Leah is blessed that the savior came from the tribe of Judah, this is something that made me marvel. I think that was kind of interesting.

I guess this story brought me back to my senses,
and I was reminded once again of who I have.
In whom I have everything.
I have the one that never rejected somebody like me.

Where’s my focus? Who is my delight?
Is my attitude of “praising God in all circumstances?

Circumcision of the Heart

Whenever I’m tempted to ask God why, my heart beats fast,
reminding me that He has the right and I don’t.
My heart only beats because of Him.

And then I cry once again…
For I know He has allowed me to continue living,
because He wants to keep on showing me there’s more to life!

Even though there were times I wish I would have just died and not suffered this pain…

But then, the heart is satisfied…
because in the midst of it all,
It finds its real joy!
No wonder why He,
cut away that which hinders…

But oh so painful, and it continually is.
But I desire a heart of flesh
and not of stone,
so continue the work in me Lord.

Take my heart!!!!
I am yours…

From Haiti with Love

Greetings from Haiti!

It’s been 3 weeks since I left the Philippines and the Lord has done so many things around me. Our team left St. Kitts and Nevis last week and now we are here in Haiti to serve for three weeks.

We are going around the 6 districts of the Church of the Nazarene, and we are currently at our third district in Bas Artibonite.

Thank you for remembering me in your prayers! I am doing well and I am knowing the Lord more as I serve different people. It is my desire to encourage you by sharing my stories. I see you as a valuable part of my ministry and as my partners, you make me feel I am part of the body of Christ as we all respond to the call to make Christlike disciples in the nations.

Here are the links to my daily blogs:

Archive for St. Kitts and Nevis

Transition from St. Kitts and Nevis to Haiti
Haiti, Day 1: Be Strong in the Lord
Haiti, Day 2 (Part 1): He Makes All Things New
Haiti, Day 2 (Part 2): He Makes All Things New 
Haiti, Day 3: I Wanna Be a Speaker of Truth to All Mankind
Haiti, Day 4: Changes
Haiti, Day 5: Gratitude
Haiti, Day 6: A Change of Heart 
Haiti, Day 7: Longings

Thank you for those who have said they enjoy reading my posts. Although I don’t have internet always, I am trying my best to keep  you updated with the Lord’s work on this side of the world. We need all of your prayers and we are encouraged knowing there’s a huge army of brothers and sisters praying for us.

Hope you are having a great day today! Love you and may the Lord fill your heart with joy today!

P.S. If you wish to partner with me by supporting financially, visit my page at:

http://web.nazarene.org/goto/janary

Love and Hugs,
Janary Suyat

Called to Serve in the Nations

Hello Everyone!

I made it to St. Kitts! I praise the Lord for His protection and travelling mercies, and most of all, I thank you for all of your prayers!

I have written my blog for my first day in St. Kitts and I would like to blog on the highlights of each day. I invite you to subscribe because I would only upload them once I get an internet connection. I was told it would be once a week that we can connect online 🙂 Now talk about adjustment but it’s all good. I have a wonderful team with me.

Click on this link to go to my daily highlights and don’t forget to subscribe. 🙂

For some of you who do not know yet what’s going on, I am now serving at Mesoamerica and will be here until August. Our first country is St. Kitts and Nevis, and on March 24 we head out to Haiti and serve there for 3 weeks. Then we will serve in Dominican Republic for 3 weeks, then Mexico for 6 weeks, El Salvador for 3 weeks, and then Panama for 3 weeks.

I’ll keep this blog updated and will write my daily highlights on the other blog. So don’t forget to subscribe here, and on the other blog to follow where the team is and what we are doing, so you can all pray for us.

You are all wonderful thank you for praying for me, and sharing your treasure so I can get here and serve the region. I feel the body of Christ, and we are all responding to God’s call and partner in His mission to save the world 🙂

Visit my fund page, and if you wish to partner with me, it is still not too late to do so. I have another story about my tickets so I’m back to raising $1,600 dollars more on top of the $3000 dollars I raised for the tickets, a total of $4,600. I will blog more on it later. So if you and your church want to partner with me, please click on this link.

So til later! Love you all!

Llamados  a ser como Cristo en el mundo,
(Called to be like Christ in the world),
Janary Suyat

Also, I invite you to LIKE our 12:7 Serve FB page to be updated. Click on this link.

Renewal of the Covenant

Today, I renew my covenant with the Lord and pray that I may be His alone.

I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt,
rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for thee
or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things,
let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things
to thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine.
So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.

-the Covenant Prayer in the Wesleyan Tradition.

He Holds My Hand

These days have been tough for me as I started walking on “roads” I’ve never traveled before. The word of the Lord in Isaiah 41 has greatly encouraged me as I go through this journey. I especially keep on remembering verses 10 and 13:

¹⁰ ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; 
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, 
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

¹³ “For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, 
Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’ 

Whenever I remind myself of these words, I always picture myself holding God’s hand while being in an unfamiliar place; or holding God’s hand, blindfolded and feeling the cold wind that makes me shiver and afraid. I also remember Peter when he walked on water, but I don’t want to end up doubting and losing my focus on Jesus and start drowning.

Though these verses talk about Israel’s circumstance which is different from mine, I could still claim its promise as it talks about the same God who is holding my hand today. I can feel His warmth, and there’s comfort at the thought of not being alone. He is with me, and He is near.

I am finding out more and more my behavior when I worry or when I am unsure, and it surely shows restlessness expressed in so many ways. I can’t keep silent, I wander, I lose my way, I try to scream for help from other places and I can’t keep my focus. But then His word comes to me like His hand tugging me back to Him, reminding me:

“My child, I am here.”

I stop to fall into His arms and accept His big embrace. I cry for a moment and cry a lot. And He lets me be.
And then He holds my hand as if telling me: “Are you ready? Let’s go, do not be afraid. I will be here, I will not let go.”

Then I am tempted to ask:
“Lord, but why on these roads? Why here? Why so narrow and steep? Can’t we just walk on the other side?”
I keep forgetting that I am with Him, but that’s all that matters.
He won’t let go, His way is perfect, and He wants me to walk with Him.

I do not know how all of these would turn out exactly,
But I will keep on trusting Him…
For I know that He will help me,
and that is enough to keep me on.

He knows the way…
He knows where we are going.
It’s bigger than my dreams.

Look into Jesus

“The man[woman] who has struggled to purify himself[herself] and has had nothing but repeated failures will experience real relief when he[she] stops tinkering with his[her] soul and looks away to the perfect one. While he[she] looks at Christ, the very thing he[she] has so long been trying to do will be getting done within him[her]. It will be God working in him[her] to will and to do.”

-A.W. Tozer, The Gaze of the Soul Chapter in the Pursuit of God

I confess that I have developed the habit of being frustrated at myself since last year.
It actually drives me nuts.
My mind is clouded with so many cares that I tend to drift away from my “center”.

God’s word is so comforting when He invites us to look into Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
There are so many distractions and I am making it a habit to keep looking up;
Letting my soul look up to Him and keep on believing in Him,
Guarding my heart so that none of its deceitful thoughts would lead me astray.

My prayer is to have an attentive heart,
a heart that seeks to be in tune with who God wants me to be.
To keep looking into Jesus’ example,
being obedient to the father, even to the point of death.

I believe in God, but when there are trying times,
it is so easy to question Him.
I pray that I would keep my eyes fixed on Jesus,
who sacrificed His life to fulfill a greater purpose.

I will keep on looking into Jesus.
Believing with all of my heart that He will make me overcome,
As He overcame.

Why Lord??

Today I am asking the Lord many questions. I couldn’t even say the words anymore but I believe the Spirit understands my heart. And He reminded me of His words:

Romans 8:26-28 (NIV)
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. [27] And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. [28] And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Such a great encouragement today!
It reminds me of His love- of the reason why He had to send His son to us to die on the cross. It was not an easy decision I guess, to ‘die so others would live’. But the good news is, He has overcome death, and through Him we have life.

I can trust you Lord with the things that pains my heart right now. For you are in control, and you are working even when I am not seeing it.

Help me to keep holding your hand, even when I do not see where you are bringing me, as long as I’m holding your hand, I believe I will overcome.

Hope in the Lord

In silence and trust
In stillness and hope
I will wait for you Lord
I will await the dawn
You who carry me on eagle’s wings
Are mighty and strong
You are my strength
You are my helper

I will not follow my follies
Nor entertain the rebellion in my heart
Take it Lord and make me whole
Be glorified, be magnified
Be delighted for I am coming home
I choose you Lord, the lover of my soul
I put my faith in you.

Going Out of the Box

The rain is so heavy and it woke me up early today.
For those of you who know me well, Tulog mantika ako (I’m a heavy sleeper, and a heavy rain or even an earthquake in the past won’t really wake me up easily), but I am amazed how even with a tired body and little sleep, I feel so superb and rejuvenated that I’m ready for the new day! I want to praise the Lord today!

(I know you’re all waiting for the “love story” I have been talking about, but first, I would like to blog something related to that and is the bottomline of all the things happening to my life including my love story :p)

This week, blessing after blessing have poured out on me, and I know that I never deserved any of it. Never. If you’d ask me a list of the things that would make God think twice in answering my prayers, I would come up with an endless list of all my shortcomings and failings, but see, that is me “being God” and it is not even close to how He thinks. God’s graciousness and love to me doesn’t depend on me being deserving; not because I have done something that would allow Him to pour out His blessings.

My God is gracious and good, and when He loves, He loves because that is His character.

So many times, the idea of “being deserving” has stopped me to believe that God can actually give me more than I deserve. It has stopped me from praying with faith in the God that can do the impossible. It was my lack of faith in God that has stopped me from believing that He is enough.

I always pulled out my “I am unworthy-I will not ask from God-because He won’t answer anyway” card when I would pray sometimes, that I would only pray for what I think is something “He can probably do.” What a shame.

These past few weeks, I have been learning from the God who is enough for me.
The moment I wholly surrendered everything to Him, I found release.

Most of the time I have carried a reliance on my own abilities and my own plans that I have never fully trusted God. This year, He has started something new in me. The Lord is bringing me to new heights and showing me How He is faithful, and I should indeed trust Him. I do not mean to say that I do not know this yet or that He has not been faithful in the past, but I confess that I have seen it and have known it in my head and yet get deceived by the enemy when times get really really tough.

There is this kind of surrender-that after you have battled so long using all your strength and your everything, you finally reach the end of it, and all you can do is just say I cannot do this anymore Lord.

I was at that point. I remember crying out to Him in despair and saying that I have been such a failure but I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so scared of what is before me, and I don’t even know How to do things anymore. I cried for deliverance, even from my own unbelief. I was at my wits end.

Then He came to my rescue.

My problem was I have always put God in a box. I have contained Him in this box and have mapped out the answers to my prayers. I asked for God to do this… and this… and this… and have imagined the answers that my mind can comprehend.

This month, God brought me out of this box,
and have shown me that there is so much more He can do if I would let Him.

See, I have seen this happen over and over again, but I was stubborn and was not learning my lesson.

I would like to thank all who prayed for my financial situation and my seminary fees. A woman who have followed me on Facebook have talked to me about sharing some of her blessings. Never would I have thought of this person helping me. She wasn’t a close friend, wasn’t someone I see everyday; but God brings people to us to bless us. I know God brings us both to a relationship too, one that is to glorify God.

God answers our prayers in weird ways we have not even thought of.

This is the same thing with a friend of mine who have forwarded my newsletter to her pastor-friend from another country, and then,  the  pastor shared to me how the Lord has touched his heart to help me and have committed to be a channel of blessing to me.

I am still wondering how all of this was possible, and my little head will never really comprehend how in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.

Now I am sharing this to you as a testimony that God is at work; we may not see it, but He surely is. We may not be able to explain all the things that are happening. We may have to wait, we may be denied of what we ask for, but all because God is working in ways our mind cannot comprehend.

That is why HE IS GOD. In the end, we will know He knows what He is doing, for He makes all things beautiful in His time.

I also have my own share of despair. It would be wrong to think that once you have placed your faith in God, your life will be free of problems. We live in a world that is corrupt in every sense, but to place our faith in God is to see beyond. It is a recognition that God sees what is going on, and God is not asleep or apathetic about it.

Believe it or not, He feels our pain, He sees every cry, and He knows what we are going through.

He is a God who is at work since the beginning of time. He seeks to restore us from this fallen state.

He seeks to restore our relationship with Him from where it has fallen, from the time we have first doubted Him.

He seeks to restore this relationship that is about TRUST in Him; FOR HE IS FAITHFUL.

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. This relationship is about Him helping us become all that He wants us to be. It is His grace that enables us to do it.

This is not just about asking what we want, and making God a vendo machine. There is so much more to this. He seeks to have a relationship with us, one that was not possible before, but He gave His only Son to die on the cross so that we could have life in Him.

See, He is serious about this and He is offering life to you and me.

This life in Him is a recognition that He is all we need and He is enough. In the midst of the troubles we are in, it is a loving relationship that seeks to uphold us. It is based on trust. We have to be wholly surrendered to Him and know that He is enough.

It is a loving relationship- one proven by Him giving His life for us so that we can have life and enjoy it to the full. Enjoy it not later, but here and now.

It is a love that can be experienced when you would let Him. It is a love that fills the need for love and acceptance in our hearts. He loves us however undeserving we are, and seeks to transform us into His image- an image of love.

Would you like to get out of your box today?
I dare you, you can ask Him.
His hand is reaching out to you.
Would you let Him take you out of the box you’re in?

Ephesians 3:14-21 (NIV)

¹⁴ For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶ I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

 ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.