The Ultimate Kill Joy!

Do you know that feeling when you are into something
and are totally happy and bursting with life…
then something comes your way that totally robs off your joy…
Snatching every little hint of exuberance til there is no more…

THAT’S HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW.

Discouragements are not new.
I’ve encountered different forms of it,
and I won’t say it’s something I’m used to…
I don’t have the right to brag that I’m an expert in handling it
though I would look okay because I tell you that at this very moment
I am struggling to keep my composure.

The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion waiting for someone to devour!
and there you go… trying some sort of fast break huh?

It totally sucks that the enemy would use relationships and cause hurt!
The gossiping has started once again…

why don’t they say it to my face?

it’s a temptation to look and react to this sister in Christ in a bad way…
but NO! I won’t let that happen…

Would you please pray for me?

Lord i pray for self-control

GIVE ME JOY IN MY HEART

Give me joy in my heart, keep me praising,
Give me joy in my heart, I pray,
Give me joy in my heart, keep me praising,
Keep me praising ’till the break of day.

Refrain:
Sing hosanna, sing hosanna,
Sing hosanna to the King of kings!
Sing hosanna, sing hosanna,
Sing hosanna to the King.

Give me peace in my heart, keep me praying,
Give me peace in my heart, I pray,
Give me peace in my heart, keep me praying,
Keep me praying ’till the end of day.

TRUTH THURSDAYS: I Want to Show the World

“I’m so amazed at how You take my life
And love me more, more than I deserve
I’m blown away by Your power to change this life
Once more, I’m planted in You

Who would know, that I was once
On a road so far away from You
All I know is that I live my life
To show the world Your amazing love
Your amazing love

Your love is pure Your love so divine
Your love transforms my soul my mind
Your love has the power to bring new hope
Amazing love
Amazing love

I’m so amazed at the wonder of all creation
I will live to honour You my Lord
You are the gold, treasure of all life
I will rest in You in praise eternally

Who would know that I was once
On a road so far away from You
All I know is that I live my life
To show the world Your amazing love
Your amazing love

Your love is so pure Your love so divine
Your love transforms my soul my mind
Your love has the power to bring new hope
Amazing love
Amazing love

I’m so amazed…”

-Amazing Love
Hillsong Amazing Love Album

Truth Thursday # 10: This Handmade Life

Fides Quarens Intellectum

Our Systematic Theology Class started today, and one of our professors
(we have Kuya Dick assisting Prof. McEwan)
asked us to define Theology.
After several students gave their definitions,

We remember Anselm:

“Faith Seeking Understanding”

Fides quarens intellectum

Much were discussed and it was a rather good conversation about trying to define our “talk about God” in relation to creation. We tried to figure out what influences our understanding of God and Theology, and have even looked at Thales, Plato and Aristotle’s philosophies. Names like Karl Barth, Schleiermacher, Von Hoeffman and others were mentioned and there I sat, amazed, and was very hungry to know more. One of the students asked how we can determine the TRUTH, and I myself, with the other theologies in mind and not just Christian theology, struggled for an answer. But a good song started to ring in my head while the conversation and discussion went:

JESUS is the way the TRUTH and the life
His banner over me is love

there were different answers to the question
and Kuya Brian raised his hand
and talked about John 14:6…

Jesus answered,
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”

I smiled and almost laughed because I was just singing it in my head, and wasn’t really intending to mention it when I raised my hand and made my response. I even went on to say it is really hard to know, because in light of the quadrilateral, (because a student was talking about it, and the Scripture as the ultimate qualifier for a good theology) some people might be even holding on to their scripture too (especially those who have one), and tradition, and reason, and experience. I was intending for a more “philosophical argument”, to present.

and there the TRUTH was ringing on my head

Simple and yet profound
no wonder why it was considered by this world “foolishness”

1 Corinthians 1

vv. 20Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.

——————————————————————————

The Koinonia Groups started today too…
It was formerly called covenant groups and this year I belong to Prof. San Young’s group

GOD knew what I needed and He always has amazing ways of telling me:

I AM WITH YOU

This group is where I belong at this very moment.
After hearing their stories and struggles, I was relieved knowing I am not alone.
All this time, I am telling myself in a sarcastic way that “I am alone”, I am by myself,
and yet there they were having a different situation which was no different than my struggle.

we have several things in common, one is being single…
We called ourselves Superwomen, and I am Superwoman # 4 haha!
I am not sure if we would really create customized shirts or if it was just a joke that we would come up with T-Shirts with Superwoman print on it haha!

i was encouraged with their stories, and it was very comforting…

I AM NOT ALONE!

and now, they are there for me,
and are praying for me too.

We ate pizza, and though I was so guilty for eating three slices,
I let myself celebrate haha.

One thing I would never forget today….
WITH GOD’S HELP,

I CAN DO IT!

Lord, be glorified in my weakness
Please be my strength……………
May I know you more each day
and with my limitations,
I SHOUT YOUR FAME..

Momentum

Finally, I am ready to take off.

Abby had a funny way of describing our situation for the past two weeks when school started, she said we are like an airplane that can’t seem to take off. We are still on the run way, a very long run way…

There were so many things in-between that needed my attention, while trying to meet them all, i found myself not able to follow the schedule I have prepared. I am a very spontaneous person, so it works for me, but to be efficient, a schedule needs to be followed; that has become a must. Hence, in my life now, things have changed. Some things have still stayed the same or have gone back to how it used to be.

With the nature of my work, I asked our dean of students if she could let me take the basement apartment and though she wished I would stay with the girls at the dorm, I was allowed to stay at the basement since I sleep in the afternoons; the room is dark in there and cooler. It was indeed comfortable but I am alone, still alone. On another note, Abby would come over and invade my area. Yesterday, we cooked our lunch; it was nostalgic in a way, and we started creating our budget for our food again. I am still grateful that we can be together now, I can’t even remember that it had been two years since we parted.

Last night, Aven, another close friend from our college had his class at APNTS too. He will be at the campus every Monday. I was taking my one hour nap when he and Abby came to see me and I was lying in there trying to talk and was slurring. It was funny that they know how to wake me up by inviting me to go out and eat. Haha. We talked over halo-halo and shared the changes in our lives. Though we still looked the same, (and you might argue I look fatter now,) we are indeed not the same after two years of ministry experience. It was a cool talk. There should still be more.

The classes I have are awesome. I have Biblical Hermeneutics, Pentateuch, Supervised Ministry and Systematic Theology. I would never regret going full-time. If it were not for God’s grace, I wouldn’t accomplish anything. I am happy being able to read a lot in two weeks and even submit a paper and you know it wasn’t me alone, coz you know my tendencies. So rock on I should say…

Last week, we had a Filipino Cultural Day and it was a cool time to share a little bit of our culture at the chapel service. We sang the national anthem and recited the Patriotic Oath. We sung a praise song in Tagalog and Great is thy Faithfulness Hymn in Tagalog too. Then we shared a list of things about Filipinos, It’s the famous “You Know You’re a Filipino If…” The Ako ay Pilipino song was sung, and God’s word was shared by Ptr. Raquel Fausto. She talked about why we should be proud to be a Filipino. Sacrifice was the theme and by sharing how Filipinos have the ability to sacrifice, she related it to the challenge for Christians to be like Jesus, who gave us an example for ultimate sacrifice. Filipino or not, we ought to desire to be servants of each other. At the end of the service, we were given rice cakes and a gallery was set up to showcase several Filipino handicrafts and items.

The night before the Cultural Day, I struggled if I should go home to get items from our house since we have a lot. Thinking about the travel and hassle makes me want to sleep instead, but Abby came with me so a good company makes a big difference. I was able to see my dogs and thank God they are still alive. haha. I just wish I can be at our house and be at APNTS at the same time. I just can’t believe the price of gas… crazy.

Whenever people would see me now, they always tell me “Hoy matulog ka na!” Hey, sleep now! and it’s funny that they see my eyebags probably screaming at them or they feel tired knowing that I worked all night when they were sleeping and there I was still with them for the day. I do sleep. and I make sure I have six hours of sleep. haha. for the past weeks, I have been getting 16 straight hours of sleep, and you know how I am able to do that. It was always a nice week-ender.

I have finished arranging the place where I stay at and now it looks like home after bringing some of our things at the house last Wednesday. I still praise the Lord for such ease and comfort.

My time is up now, at least this post makes it to the publish line…
till my next blog post! :p

Lord you are good
and your mercy endureth forever

TIME IS UP

I want to Blog about something
Just like right now! But then,

TIME IS UP!!!

See you later blogpost…

Watch out for my New and Old Posts still on my Drafts Page:

1. June 15 sermon
2. June 22 sermon
3. June 29 sermon
4. July 6 sermon
5. Vibrant
6. Routine
7. Classes this Semester

Not having to post them when I did them sucks!
and again…

TIME IS UP!

If I Had a Band…

So while taking a break from work
and because I always see cool stuff that I want to try too…
Here you go

Instructions
1. Go here. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go here. The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
If you want to do this again, you’ll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3. Go here. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Go here. The first ten links you end up in (minus the .coms) are your 10 song titles.

So, if i had a band, it’s name would be:

Street law (disambiguation)

Our album would be:
General Statements are false

Our album cover will be:

The Tracks:

1. lslingwordStreet
2. Lully Web
3. The Mulberry Bush Blog
4. Wired World
5. Split Pediment
6. Juggling with water
7. Fresh Air and New Meaning in a safe space
8. Design Idea
9. Defy Age Naturally
10. The Northern Light

(Seems like they all go together…:-))

(Got this from Stef)

TRUTH THURSDAYS: I want to say YES to…

What the Lord wants me to do.

NUFF SAID.

Truth Thursdays # 9: A Handmade Life

June: Against the grain

A friend told me one has to give way…

and he hoped it was not the ministry

You have probably heard about the new
full-time work I have for Child Sponsorship
and my “official” First year in Seminary,
because I’m now a full-time student with 12 units of classes
and I am still the Pastor of the church…

I even remember myself saying:
A full time minister should not have another “work”
but focus on the ministry.

Unusual huh?
Now, I am a “3 in 1″ (haha)

It’s sometimes so hard to explain my situation but to make a good sense of what I’m going through right now, I applied for the work because I was involved in the ministry of Nazarene Compassionate Ministries and It was an opportunity for me to earn while doing ministry. I have so many offers for secular work but my mind just wouldn’t want to work outside the church setting because its demands are different. I need to earn some money…

Now why? Because I kinda support myself ya know, with Graduate school and stuff…

Now why full-time study when I work full-time? I need to stay at the dorm and for me to stay at the dorm, I have to enroll at least 12 units of courses.

Why stay at the dorm? Because I live an hour and a half away from the seminary (where I study and work). Traveling for 3 hours everyday is a waste of time, a waste of energy (when I can just walk to the classrooms and office from my room when at APNTS), and a waste of money (since the fares have gone up crazily). To stay at the dorm means to live my life to the fullest haha.

How about the Pastoral Ministry? I praise the Lord for the growing ministry team which helps me with visitations, Bible studies, outreach, Children’s ministries, Youth ministries, Sunday School, etc etc. That helps me have more time for preparing my sermons and discipleship materials which also works together with what I learn at school when I do my requirements. I try my best to help the leaders be equipped, so they could go to the front line.

How about my health? I admit that working in the evening is tough because we talk about the liver and organs that have its own clock (when the sun’s up they work, when it’s down they should be resting) but then I work in the evening when my body should be resting, thus, it still works hard, and in reality it would never really catch up on what it lost when i sleep in the afternoon. Sad. I have a new schedule and I made sure I get 6 hours of sleep each day and more sleep on weekends. I have been following a diet which should help my liver in the evening. God please help me.

How about my schedule since I am queen Jana crammer de ultima procrastinator? I think God has allowed this so I would learn the hard way. I have a rigid schedule that I need to follow or else, the world will crumble on me. So far, I’m doing fine. I prayed for discipline, and now I’m getting it. It makes sense to me why people follow their schedules… because they have no other time to do these things they’ve set. I used to have more flexibility before when I thought I was already busy… The proof of that much time was I have wasted so much of it.

How about my social life? Don’t worry, I made sure I have that or else I’m not that Jana you know anymore ;p

As I look at the people who have been where I am at now and were able to do it,
It’s possible for me to do it too…

—————————————————–

June kicked off with a busy schedule for training as I and Jose became the newly hired Child Sponsorship Specialists. We spent two weeks with Christi Di Falco, a wonderful woman in charge for Child Sponsorship at the Headquarters in Kansas. We also had the chance to spend some time and meet some of the NCM people together with students from Avila University who visited the Philippines. We had a day to tour Corregidor Island which was a much needed break that turned out to be awesome-fun.

I missed so much of my usual night outs and stuff so I tried my best to spend more time with friends and tried to hang out as much as possible when I had my morning shift training, before real work in the evening and busy schedule starts. It was all fun. It was nice to meet new people at the campus too.

As new people come, some people also had to leave. Ptr. Hyun Su, one of the volunteer pastors at our church got married last April. He and His wife decided to find a new church now where they could both serve at together; where they would also be used more. According to him, it was a nice two year stay at the church, and as they see new leaders standing up, it’s an accomplishment. They need to follow now where God is leading them and so we prayed for Him that last Sunday when He preached. He is a good example of discipline. May God bless your life Pastor Hyun Su. Thank you for your willingness to serve the Lord at our church.

The seminary had a wedding too for that month and it was a comedy kind of wedding. I am not sure if I want comedy at my wedding day. Their vows were cool though; they were having fun and that’s cool. Francis and I were asked to sing, (and I always wonder why me- to sing), as usual, my knees shaked like forever. I hope I would someday conquer that knee-shaking moment. Congratulations Kuya Dick and Ate Mary Ann… Enjoy!

I want to get married too. That’s for sure
on the other hand, definitely not now…
as new dreams are burning inside me!

In My Heart There Rings a Melody

I am thankful right now for these simple things…
and My heart is grateful…
Just wanted to share…

1. The Campus’ Automatic Washing Machine. I wash my clothes (our family’s clothes too before) “old school” haha! Like wash it first in a basin of water to rinse of dirt, then put it on the washing machine with soap, rinse it 3x and even use this little wood thing we call “palo palo”, palo means beat, so you literally beat the clothes haha, if you can’t imagine it now, ask me later; then soak it in a water with fabric softener and then dry spin it and hang it. haha. I’m a bit OC in the way I do my laundry bec my mom taught me that way… but now it’s just put it in the washing machine, and after an hour come back to hang it. (lol)…. Which works for me because I can do other things while my clothes are in the machine. Life is easier!

2. The stairs near Geneva hall and stairs near Owens hall, and the basketball court. I worried that I can’t jog bec I don’t have time to travel to Ultra or Sportscenter, but today, while I was doing my laundry, I did walk up and down those stairs and last week I did run at the court after work (which is morning like 7am) when it wasn’t raining. It was good.

3. Starbucks at SM Taytay. Whenever I would crave for Banana Loaf with whipped cream on top, or Strawberry Belgian Waffles; Tazo tea Green Tea, or Java Chip Frappucino, the nearest Starbucks would be the one at Marquinton, Marikina. I wouldn’t exchange that place though as I stated it as a favorite hangout spot, but who knows ahahaha. This one is just 5mins away :p

4. and… Abby here at APNTS. I can’t believe two years have passed. Abby is a very close friend from college. We share a room at the dorm before, with a double-deck bed; she owns the bottom bed and I the top bed. We are both at the FBC Ministry team, and we’ve traveled a lot together. We are both members of JaDeSA, the ladies-quartet-sort of group at FBC. I consider her my sister, together with Debbie (her real sister), because we share a lot in common being PKs, and we are both Ate Candy’s girls, being her disciples. We share a lot of things and we share a lot in common. We both talked about our future plans and listed what we wanted to do after we graduate in college. We both listed, graduation, ministry, then APNTS. After graduation, I pastored a church and after a year went to APNTS while I pastor the church. For two years, She became a church planter for Faith Fellowship and she just resigned so she can study full-time at APNTS. Now she’s here with me and as I officially call myself a first year student (since last year I was a part-time student), I hope we will both graduate at the same time too!!!!! Next to our list would be to teach in a Bible School, let’s see how the Lord will take us there. I praise God that we finally made it here, and now together still

4. Grace for the moment. If only you would know everything I’m going through… You wouldn’t believe how much grace I need but then Jesus always meets me there… How I love Him so…

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears”
-Anthony Robbins

And so this hymn rings in my heart too… let your soul sing it too

In My Heart There Rings a Melody
Words and Music: Elton M. Roth, 1891-1951

I have a song that Jesus gave me,
It was sent from heaven above;
There never was a sweeter melody,
‘Tis a melody of love.

CHORUS:
In my heart there rings a melody,
There rings a melody with heaven’s harmony;
In my heart there rings a melody;
There rings a melody of love!

I love the Christ who died on Calv’ry,
For He washed my sins away;
He put within my heart a melody,
And I know it’s there to stay.

‘Twill be my endless theme in glory,
With the angels I will sing;
‘Twill be a song with glorious harmony,
When the courts of heaven ring.

Connecting People

I thank God for getting a Nokia phone again (which is always user friendly according to my opinion), I finally bought a new phone, (I’ve gone around without a phone for two weeks) and I was excited since I got it for a cheaper price only to find out it’s locked for Smart network. I thus sent a message to my friends belonging to the Globe group asking what they would say if I changed to SMART… It was a unanimous and outstanding NOOOO. So instead of buying a smart sim which was cheaper, I spent a few hundreds just so I could open the line of my phone, ending up paying the same original price of the phone…

I have several updates (and I still owe you more… maybe tomorrow ok? :-))

Today, school officially started. I am now officially a full-time student (i had worries if I would get to enroll but God’s grace is always awesome.) I had my Biblical Hermeneutics Class this morning at 7:30 and it was just overwhelming. I expected it but it’s still different the moment you are there. I realized that the requirements would eat all the time I alloted for studying my four subjects but  I am still up for the challenge, all for the glory of God.

We had the first chapel service for the semester and I feel so blessed to belong to this institution: Asia-Pacific Nazarene Theological Seminary. Today, our new President was introduced, none other than Dr. Floyd Cunningham, our former academic dean. I feel secure that I am studying in an institution that can help me be the best I can be in my current and future ministry. 35 new students were welcomed today, and my heart is always happy to see more people responding to God’s call and saying “I’m yours take me as I am.”

Dr. Cunningham shared about the new theme for this year “Out of many- One,” which is a perfect representation of all of us with different backgrounds, coming from different places in Asia and even some people from the States, gathering together to be equipped for ministry. There is a common factor that holds us all and that is Jesus and his sanctifying grace that works in us. Our motto is: “Bridging Cultures for Christ”; As Dr. C shared Jesus prayer’ for the disciples in John 17, Jesus indeed prayed for his disciples and those who would follow him, that we may be one in Him as He is one with the father… in perfect unity and a perfect illustration of intimate relationship.

Most of the time, our human nature would tend to surface and we seek to stay with our own cliques and create walls; we tend to even look at ourselves as holier than others since we are inside the seminary, but true holiness is seen as we let the love of Jesus take a hold of us and we reflect it in our relationships. We strip ourselves of our “self” and let Christ take the lead. We reach out to each other and we are thus one in mind if we would let Christ take a hold of us. I like how Dr. C emphasized it… “I am His” (and the hymn started ringing in my head, “Now I belong to Jesus”)

It’s a nice start of the school year to offer our lives to be sanctified by Him. “Lord I am yours…” and to carry the reminder that we build bridges and not walls, we are one in Him. Communion followed and I once again proved that Jesus is the center of who we are. Apart from Him we are nothing.

Then, lunch was served at the dining hall and I ate alot because I have planned to make lunch the most important meal of the day, as the people from Dining hall always serve good food.

After lunch was Pentateuch Class, and  I am excited for more of this in the following days.

I am tired but happy.

and now I ask myself as the hymn during communion went:
Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?

Is Your All On The Altar
(written by Elisha A. Hoffman)

Verse 1:
You have longed for sweet peace,
and for faith to increase,
and have earnestly, fervently prayed;
but you cannot have rest,
or be perfectly blest,
until all on the altar is laid.

Chorus:
Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
and have peace and sweet rest,
as you yield Him your body and soul.

Verse 2:
Would you walk with the Lord,
in the light of His Word,
and have peace and contentment alway?
You must do His sweet will,
to be free from all ill,
on the altar your all you must lay.

Chorus

Verse 3:
O we never can know
what the Lord will bestow,
of the blessings for which we have prayed,
’till our body and soul,
He doth fully control,
and our all on the altar is laid.

Chorus

Verse 4:
Who can tell all the love
He will send from above,
and how happy our hearts will be made,
of the fellowship sweet
we shall share at His feet,
when our all on the altar is laid